Return of the Mack, er, Mango

"So, I'm back up in the game
Running things like half my swang
Lettin' all the people know
That I'm back to run the show
'Cause what they didn't know was wrong
And all the nasty things you've done
So, baby, listen carefully
While I sing my comeback song"
-- Mark Morrison

That's right, children, Mango's back. For the sake of continuity I'll pull from a familiar reference and hope that unlike the 'Return of Chef' to South Park (finally watched it last night), this return will be longer lived and not involve my untimely death at the hands of wild animals or more importantly, pedophiles in safari gear.

So why the old school R&B reference? Well, besides the obvious theme of a 'return', the almost laughable drama series that is my relationship with my 'K' is on an indefinite hiatus for irreconciliable differences, and so the underlying theme of a old-school mack daddy burned by love but still a playa of the game is just too perfect to pass up. Plus, I wish I was black.

So what else has been new in la vida Mango since I last posted? Sadly, not a whole lot. I blame Tivo for that. The daily grind of work has become just that: the project I'm on now is the Kryptonite to my Superman and so in an effort to impart the wisdom of my years onto the junior readers of this blog: never leave UT. Friends, women, parties, and women...trust me, that whole "best years of your life" line is not cliche, it's wisdom.

I was reminded of the difference between my working life and life in school during my 3-day visit, nay, bender to Austin this weekend.

1) Partying in Austin vs. 'going out' in Houston is analagous to one of those travel guides touting living in some random tropical country for $4 a day. Drinking 15 beers, playing pool and foosball, and picking the music you get to hear--all of which are staples of a good time-- total cost at the house: a few bucks out of your monthly dues and some juice from your iPod battery. Same experience in Houston? $60-80 bucks for the beer, plus $1 per game and $2 for 3 songs at the jukebox. Not to mention the lofty costs and negative life imacts in general of a DWI, which would likely follow if you drank 15 beers and had any farther to go than upstairs.

2) Like shooting ducks in a barrel: Women. The bar scene is a crapshoot when it comes to pulling (British for 'meeting women' or 'getting laid'). You never know who's a quality, fun, putter-outer, and who's a psycho hose beast, or old-money snob, or the VD female equivalent of Dice. (p.s. no offense Dice, I'm sure that herps will be cool again one day). At the house, all you've gotta do is drink until she's gotta go to the bathroom and then you win. (for more details, consult Dellach) Ok, sure, so this really doesn't contrast the previously named pitfalls of pulling at a bar, but we're willing to trade quality for a certain degree of 'moral casualness'. For the love of Pete, Marshall used to pull at the house.

3) Logistics: In school, it's just good times all the time. Sure, there's those pesky classes and books and studying to deal with, but you're essentially on the blocks and ready for the sprint to debauchery all the time. As Toonces, Tito, and I have found, it takes planning, permission, and lots of highway mileage just to arrange the proper proximities for mutual beer drinking, Mario Kart, and other assorted Chi Phi pasttimes that used to be available in a short hop across the courtyard. We're also unable to enjoy the economies of scale that can be reached once keg levels of beer consumption are achieved.

4) No Worms. Perhaps this one is a bit specific to my own interests, but dammit, I miss playing Worms on a Pentium II computer with a 14-inch CRT screen. I miss hearing Tito talking smack to both me AND Dellach, Bud Light 8 of 11 in hand. Even on Toonces' massive plasma, Worms 3D can not fill the Worms World Party-shaped hole in my gaming soul.

Can I get an Amen?

I'll get off my soapbox for now and try to spend the next 3 hours doing what I should have been doing for the last 6.

***

Oh yeah, on a more positive note: the penguin game is back: http://www.stuffucanuse.com/online_game/penguin/Bloody-penguin.html

My high score is well over 1000...who wants suma-dis?