"on a steel horse I ride" -Jon Bon Jovi

Sometimes I wonder if there's a special kind of straight that doesn't preclude necessarily being a flaming homosexual...

Tonight, I'm going to see Bon Jovi, live and in concert at the Toyota Center. I can only wonder if at some point, the gayness of the whole affair will reach sort of Hitchhiker's-esque Infinite Improbability and I'll reach under my shirt to find a bra has magically appeared, which I will then toss at Jon, causing him to wink at me. I'll squeal with Beatlemania-like glee and then pass out, drifting into a world of rainbows and cowboys who eat pudding and are frequently secretly fond of each other.

I make no excuses for the wide and sometimes embarrassing variety of music I listen to, but I will qualify attending this concert with the fact that I'm only going because Sarah got free tickets and figured if there's someone who will enjoy getting dragged out to a Bon Jovi Concert, it's me. She's right. This is gonna be a milf and mullet-ridden riot.

To make up for this, I'll change my own oil and not cry when I burn my hand on the exhaust manifold. That's right, I said exhaust manifold.